"Sorry, I Won't Do It Again."

Thank you for apologizing, but my feelings are still hurt. How will you fix that and you’re thousands of miles away? I guess this situation is a little bit different than others. I am in a long distance relationship, and this is definitely not the way I would like to introduce you guys to my significant other. However, I felt like it would have been the most genuine way. I’ve been told… we’ve both been told … how we are such “goals” and how we look sooo happy. We definitely are, but (excuse my French) shit happens. We are still people. We are people who have feelings. We are people who give our all to each other. This man literally holds my precious little heart with his hands, and vice versa.

I’m very “twitterly-active”. Not quite sure if this is the correct phrase to use, but it’s gone fly today. We both are. I see tweets about long distance relationships sooooo often. They’re almost always negative. “Oh, it’ll never work”, etc (no reason for me to continue on. I’m sure most of you guys feel negative about them as well) I’m here to say that that isn’t true. Anything will work if it’s what you really want, whether it’s your new career or a relationship with a person who lives in another country. This isn’t the blog post where I tell you how I’ve been successful in my LDR (long distance relationship). I’ll make another later, stay tuned. This is the blog post where I tell you SOMETIMES I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

We have gone through things that are less than ideal to go through. It normally always ends with someone’s feelings being hurt. Apologies are cool, but how do I fix what I’ve broken? Blahhh… I’m beating around the bush. Let me give y'all a little back story.

Some of y’all may know who my boyfriend is and some of you guys may not. Let’s just call him “R” for now though.

R and I were having a conversation, that had absolutely nothing to do with our relationship. This is something we literally always do. Maybe, I had taken the conversation a bit more serious than he did. He jokingly said something that rubbed me the wrong way. It triggered some of the insecurities I’ve had as a child and clearly, even as an adult. He didn’t know that those were trigger words for me. He apologized. But I’m still hurt and I’m pretty stubborn. I was unwilling to fix the problem or even talk about it really. Anyways, a couple of hours go by. A few apologies are out in the air. We have written in our disagreement journal*, but my feelings are still hurt and ultimately, ya girl wants a hug and a kiss from her man. I know that would make me feel better.

Moral of the story is: Communication is amazing, great actually, but the biggest downfall in long distance relationships is absence.

Unlike other relationships, we are unable to see each other as often (once a month; I’ll talk about this later)… and it just SUCKS.

*Disagreement Journal: We’ve created a shared document on the Notes app where we discuss every argument, our viewpoints, and how we will solve the problem. I suggest all couples use this, especially when conversations get heated. Here’s an example (not a real scenario, but you will get the point):

Problem: You didn’t take out the trash.

R:

  1. I didn’t have time.
  2. I forgot.

Courtney:

  1. Women shouldn’t take out the trash.
  2. I do things around the kitchen, the least you could do is take the trash out.

Resolution:

Sorry, I was negligent. It wont happen again. I will make a habit to take the trash out every Monday. - R

Hey guys. I’d love to know how you and your significant other, boo, whatever you want to call it get over those troublesome times in your relationship. Feel free to leave a comment below.

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